A Guide to Kids Party Etiquette - COMO Magazine (2025)

I belong to a local community of about 500 moms on my Facebookwho ask questions, give and receive advice, and seek recommendations about all sorts of issues. One of the things that I have seen come up on several occasions are questions about kids parties. Since I have put on quite a few in my time as a planner, I decided to tackle some of the more common ones I have seen asked. Let’s call this Kid’s Parties FAQ’s.

Q: Invitation says no gifts but I am close to the child and want to get them something, what do I do?

A: By all means respect the parent’s wishes of no gifts if it is implicitly stated on the invitation. They likely have their reasons for not wanting them and have already discussed this with the birthday child so no worries that they will be disappointed. If you are particularly close with the child and would like for them to have something from you, reach out to the parent and ask if it is ok to bring a gift to the child, but not at the party! If you bring your “special gift” to the party and other parents see it they will feel bad about not bringing a gift anyway.

Q: Are party favors necessary when giving a party?

A: Some parents have expressed some incredulity that they seem to be giving a gift (favor) to a guest for coming to a party. While party favors have seemingly become the standard at parties these days, the answer is no, they are not necessary. There is no rule that says party favors have to be given. With that being said, some hosts like to give a little trinket with their thank you, and some like to go all out with a nice favor that coordinates with the theme of the party. Whatever feels right to you as a host is the right answer. One word of advice on the subject of favors. I have heard numerous parents complain about the little bag of cheesy favors that include nothing but random pieces of junk that end up all over the floor at home after the party. I would advise that if you are going to give something, make it something fun, edible, or useful. For the same amount you would spend on that bag of random toys, you can find a cute pencil and eraser set that will actually be used, or a little decorated sugar cookie that the child can save and eat later!

Q: At what age is it acceptable to drop off your child at a party as opposed to staying?

A: This is a tricky one. I would never suggest dropping off a child younger than 6 unless the hostess says it is ok. Younger kids can sometimes be harder to maintain when there are in a group setting. Always go with the intention of staying and wait for the parent of the birthday child to tell you it is ok to leave them and come back. Never assume you can drop off your young child without checking that it is ok.

Q: If you are invited to a party and can’t attend, should you still send a gift?

A: This is more of a personal choice. Sometimes in the school setting I know that everyone in the class has to be invited if you give out invites at school. You likely know that not every child will show up, or that the boys may not show up to a Princess themed party or that the girls may not show up to a John Deere party (you never know though). I wouldn’t expect a gift from kids who could not attend. An exception might be if your child couldn’t make it to a close friends party and you wanted to send a gift anyway.

Q: I am hosting a party but don’t want to serve food, is it ok to just have cupcakes and drinks?

A: It depends on the time of day. If you are hosting a party over lunch time (11-1) or dinner time (4-6) the expectation is that there will be a meal served. After all if the guests were not at your party they would more than likely be eating at that time. Anytime outside of there and you are free to go with just dessert. It is a personal pet peeve of mine when my kid comes home from a party at 6:30 and is hungry and says they only had cake!

Q: How much do I spend on a gift?

A: This is another thing that is personal, but I would suggest no more than $20 for a child’s gift. There have been plenty of times that I have found very cool gifts for around the $10-$15 range. By the time you buy a card (although this mom thinks homemade cards are the best), and a gift bag and paper (also keep those, they are reusable) you are up to about $20 anyway. Another tip is if I see something on clearance somewhere that I think would be a cool gift, I pick them up and hold on to them. They always come in handy when you remember your child has a party to attend at the last minute!

Q: If we are having a party at a place where we have paid per child attending and have requested the parents stay with their kids, are we obligated to feed them as well?

A: As the host of the party, if the parents need to stay with their kids then they are technically guests and there should be enough to at least offer. For example, at places where there is pizza for the kids I would suggest adding on an extra pizza, veggie tray and pitcher of water to offer the attending parents.

Q: Should siblings of invited kids go to the party?

A: No, not even if they are twins, unless the other sibling is specifically invited. The host has provided food, drink, activities, and favors for the number of kids invited. To spring an extra kid on them is unfair to the host who then feels like they have to provide the same things to the additional kid. Also, if the host is not prepared for the additional child then the child feels left out. The only way around this is to ask the host well before the party (not one hour before, at least one day before) if it is ok for a sibling to attend. And DO NOT be offended if the answer is no!

Q: Should we open gifts at the party?

A: I will tell you why I don’t. We did it once a long time ago when my now 10 year old was turning 3 or 4. It took way too much time, it turned into a madhouse of kids pushing to get to see the gifts and point out what they brought, and in my opinion it put too much focus on the gifts. Since then we have taken all the gifts home and opened them as a family, being sure to keep track of who brought them for thank you cards.

A Guide to Kids Party Etiquette - COMO Magazine (2025)

FAQs

Is it okay to not give out party favors? ›

There is no rule that says party favors have to be given.

What not to put in a party bag? ›

Plastic trinkets

Mazes, tops, mini frisbees, kaleidoscopes, shaped slinkies, hand clappers, finger eyeballs. The list is endless. But it's time to stop the madness, parents. Let's all agree to leave these items on the shelf.

How do you host a kiddie party? ›

Here are six steps to host an amazing kids birthday party for your little one on his or her next birthday party.
  1. Step #1: Select the Budget. ...
  2. Step #2: Choose the Venue. ...
  3. Step #3: Determine Food and Drink. ...
  4. Step #4: Invite Friends and Family. ...
  5. Step #5: Don't forget the Activities! ...
  6. Step #6: Include a Favor for all the Kids.

When to give out party bags? ›

Traditionally, party bags are given out at the end of a party as a thank you to each guest for coming along and gifting your birthday boy or girl with a present. This kind gesture also leaves little guests with a bag full of memories to remind them of your kiddo's celebration.

Should you say no gifts for kids party? ›

Here's how etiquette experts handle this common conundrum. If the invitation says no gifts, “it's most polite to follow their request,” Gottsman said. This applies to any celebration, not just kids' parties. “Bringing a gift will make others feel uncomfortable.

Are party favors necessary for kids birthday? ›

From experience, it's also a great way to get your kids moving towards the door if you have something to entice them by. Just being honest! Are party favors necessary? Absolutely not.

What should be in a kids party bag? ›

Games and puzzles

From make-you-own planes to mini puzzles, small activity-based party bag fillers are an easy way to keep guests entertained at home. Consider the age group you're catering to and avoid anything with small parts for toddlers.

Do you give party bags to siblings? ›

You don't have to do any extra party bags though technically for the guests. I've made some small siblings happy though & also the parents are usually surprised/grateful. As for siblings anytime I've brought a sibling to a party, I've paid them in & bought their food.

Are party blowers safe for kids? ›

Apparently harmless toys that children have enjoyed for decades are now regarded by EU regulators as posing an unacceptable safety risk. Whistle blowers, that scroll out into a a long coloured paper tongue when sounded – a party favourite at family Christmas meals – are now classed as unsafe for all children under 14.

Should you open gifts at a kids birthday party? ›

While the reasons for opening the birthday presents at the party are great, many parents feel the focus should never be on the present, but the birthday kid. For this reason and more, many are opting to just leave the presents to the side and open after everyone has gone home.

Does the birthday person get a party bag? ›

Whether you're the guest or the host, a party bag is always a bonus. It's an easy way to say thank you for coming or happy birthday, and it shows that you took the time to think about your night out.

Do you need party favors for your first birthday party? ›

While it's not required, you can prepare a few party favors to thank your guests for attending the event. Keepsakes from the birthday party don't need to be expensive or big. Instead, focus on small treats or sentimental mementos.

Are party favors necessary for adults? ›

Should you give favors at an adult birthday party? You can, but you don't have to! While party favors may be expected (but not required) at formal events such as weddings, you're certainly not required to have them for a birthday party.

Is it rude to not give wedding favors? ›

While wedding favors have been a well-known tradition over the years, they are definitely not required and likely not even expected by your guests. This allows you some freedom in choosing what you would like to do. Some couples decide not to have them for various reasons.

Do you have to give favors at an engagement party? ›

While engagement gifts are a nice touch, they are not mandatory (except in some religious and cultural circles) and should be left to the discretion of each guest.

Do you have to give wedding party favors yes or no? ›

Technically, no—you are not required to give out favors at your wedding reception. Do we recommend giving out favors if at all possible? Absolutely. These favors do not have to be big or expensive (and technically, they don't have to be objects), but providing even something small goes a long way.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Recommended Articles
Article information

Author: Reed Wilderman

Last Updated:

Views: 5969

Rating: 4.1 / 5 (72 voted)

Reviews: 95% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Reed Wilderman

Birthday: 1992-06-14

Address: 998 Estell Village, Lake Oscarberg, SD 48713-6877

Phone: +21813267449721

Job: Technology Engineer

Hobby: Swimming, Do it yourself, Beekeeping, Lapidary, Cosplaying, Hiking, Graffiti

Introduction: My name is Reed Wilderman, I am a faithful, bright, lucky, adventurous, lively, rich, vast person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.