Efi,
Martin said Sansa is to blame for spoiling the logistics of the escape. Had Cersei not known that they’d be gone (the ship, the time frame, etc), perhaps she’d have convened the gathering at the throne room later. That’s it; that is Sansa’s blame and it resulted into her being taken hostage right away. The rest of what I say is in the text. I won’t deny though that Sansa didn’t want to lose the dream. Especially in these chapters it’s found all over as an excuse and reasoning for her running to Cersei. But even there it’s clear that she was seeking for an authority figure other than her father whom she didn’t trust anymore that he’d do the right thing for her.
Martin did specifically say, “The way I see it, it is not a case of all or nothing. No single person is to blame for Ned’s downfall. Sansa played a role, certainly, but it would be unfair to put all the blame on her. But it would also be unfair to exonerate her.” It wasn’t simply about having Sansa being taken hostage, Sansa had a role in contributing to Ned’s downfall.
Nowhere in Sansa’s thoughts is it mentioned she was seeking an authority figure other than her father because she didn’t think he’d do the right thing for her. She was upset Ned wouldn’t let her say good-bye to Joffrey and broke her betrothal. Those don’t really qualify as necessities, especially when Joffrey was part of the Lannister family, who Ned now knew were dangerous.
All I’m saying is that there is a complicated process behind the events and behind the excuse to stay with the prince. One does not cancel the other.
I don’t think that’s an excuse. Wanting to see Joffrey and have her betrothal restored are the reasons Sansa provides, both vocally and in her thoughts. She doesn’t want to leave the prince, she doesn’t want to give up this dream, that’s why she’s upset.
I think this qualifies for some unequal treatment. It’s silly, it’s a young girl’s frustration, but that is what Sansa herself understands. “It’s not fair!” Sansa feels that Arya gets the better deal while she is told to shut up and not to speak.
Sansa is not told to “shut up and not to speak”. Ned tells her, “It would not be wise for you to go to Joffrey right now, Sansa. I’m sorry,” while Septa Mordane tells Sansa, “Sansa, your lord father knows best. […] You are not to question his decisions.”
I can see how this would appear as unequal treatment to Sansa like it would to any other teenaged girl who is being told she can no longer see her boyfriend and that they won’t be seeing that family anymore — but it’s not, considering the circ*mstances. Arya being allowed a lesson with her dancing master is certainly not the same as letting Sansa near Joffrey, who is part of a family Ned now knows to be dangerous. Ned also tells Septa Mordane he plans to tell Sansa why when they are back safely in Winterfell.
Additionally, Ned did explain to Sansa that the situation had become dangerous for them in King’s Landing — he tells her, “I want you back in Winterfell for your own safety. Three of my men were cut down like dogs not a league from where we sit, and what does Robert do? He goes hunting.” That would lay a basis as cause for concern that things are not safe for them there.
So Sansa did defy her father who failed to explain to her the complications of the situation he was facing in KL. Ned should have been more specific with her.
Not giving sufficient explanation for why she cannot say good-bye to Joffrey and feeling Ned isn’t being fair isn’t really good justification for Sansa to defy her father, especially when Ned has given the above explanation to Sansa prior. Sansa is a child, Ned is the parent. Sansa wasn’t being neglected, her welfare was not being overlooked overlooked, and Sansa has no reason to think so. She defied Ned because she didn’t like that he wasn’t allowing her to say good-bye to Joffrey.
Feeling a parent isn’t being fair is something every child since immemorial has felt. This isn’t the same thing as a parent depriving that child or not trying to do right by that child. Sansa wasn’t making an adult decision, she was making a childish one fueled by her desire for Joffrey, not as a result of deprivation of emotional or physical needs.
I agree Ned should have waited to act upon his plan until both girls were well away from King’s Landing.
Had it not been so fully justified, I’d have embraced the view that Sansa is silly and superficial, that she only wants the dream, the silks, the prince and so on while none of that matters.
But it’s not fully justified. It’s fueled by Sansa’s desire for Joffrey and her upset with Ned. She wanted Cersei to fix the situation of her broken betrothal. There’s no other motivation given to Sansa.
But as I see it, throughout the first book, Ned is 100% to blame for his daughter’s last minute willfulness, while before that she was “the good girl, the obedient girl”. So what happened and now she’s not that girl anymore?
Being obedient and “the good girl” does not entitle Sansa to instant explanations, nor does it justify Sansa defying a parent, no matter how disappointed Sansa is.
Ned has not mistreated Sansa in any way, he has not neglected her, he has not treated her with indifference. Sansa was not being deprived of love or necessities. There was no need for Sansa to defy her father and go to the queen anyway, especially when Ned explained to Sansa it was not safe for them in King’s Landing anymore. He was looking out for her safety. Ned wouldn’t give her an explanation for disallowing her to say good-bye to Joffrey at that time because he felt a sense of urgency in his ill-formed plan. This still does not justify Sansa’s behavior, which contributed to making things worse.
As I see it, the answer is not the prince, the prince is just the excuse. Because, for a young girl to exchange her father’s authority figure with someone else’s, is a huge step, is a life-changing event and Sansa would not have taken that step just because of the prince.
This isn’t what Sansa was doing. Wanting to see the prince and marry the prince are the only motivations Sansa has in her head. Sansa didn’t like what her father told her so she went to Cersei instead, hoping for Cersei (or rather, the king) to overrule her father’s decision because the king had authority over Ned.
Ned unfortunately lost all credibility and authority with his daughter, he lost her trust in him. Right until the last moment, Ned does not realize in what a pit of snakes he’s in; even in prison, he was shocked when Varys made it clear for him that Sansa was expendable, that they would kill her and that points to some major disillusionment.
Sansa was upset that Ned broke her betrothal with Joffrey and would not let her say good-bye. I don’t see how that is cause for Ned losing all credibility and authority with his daughter or as a cause for her to lose all trust in him because he had told her things she didn’t like.
Sansa doesn’t know the other stuff, Sansa can’t see the future and she’s not omniscient. Sansa’s reasons for being upset with Ned and going to Cersei was because she wanted Cersei to overrule Ned.
