Although engagements are typically a time of joy and associated with new beginnings, some engagements come to an unforeseen end. When this happens, a major question on everyone’s mind is “who will get the engagement ring?” The answer is not black and white, explains SmolenPlevy Family Law Attorneys Alan Plevy and Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson. States vary in their decisions when it comes to engagement rings and how they are viewed. Should you be in a position where your engagement has ended and you want to know what your legal rights are, Plevy and Dickerson suggest seeking legal advice.
Is an engagement ring a gift?
Most people consider an engagement ring to be a gift and, once given, the recipient can do with it what she or he wishes. A minority of states agree and consider the ring an unconditional gift. If either person breaks off the engagement, the woman gets to keep the ring.
A few jurisdictions take a slightly different view, calling the ring an “implied gift.” In this case, ownership of the ring is determined by whomever calls off the wedding. If the giver breaks it off, he or she is not entitled to the ring, and it becomes a gift. If the receiver breaks off the engagement, he can ask for the ring back.
Most states, however, view an engagement ring as a semi-contract, or a “conditional gift.” In this view, the ring is given with the understanding that the couple will get married in the future and symbolizes a verbal contract. Ownership of the ring is not fully transferred until the wedding ceremony is completed.
The common view says that it doesn’t matter who did or said what. If the agreement to wed is broken off, ownership of the ring returns to the giver. The reasoning tends to be that, if divorce, even after decades of marriage, can be no-fault, a broken engagement should be as well.
Virginia state law on engagement rings
In Virginia, the state’s Supreme Court ruled in December 2016 that the engagement ring is a conditional gift, and should be returned to the giver. It stems from a 2012 case in which Ethan Dockendorf proposed to his fiancee, Julia McGrath, with a two-carat ring worth about $26,000.
Dockendorf broke off the engagement a year later, but McGrath kept the ring. Dockendorf sued McGrath, and won when the Fairfax County Circuit Court ordered McGrath to either return it or pay her ex the $26,000 because it was a conditional gift. McGrath appealed and argued that he was prohibited from suing for the ring because of Virginia’s “heart balm” law — which blocks legal actions against suits including: breach of promise to marry, the alienation of affection and criminal conversion. McGrath lost again when the Virginia Supreme Court decided that the heart balm statute doesn’t include conditional gifts, such as an engagement ring.
Prenuptial agreements can help with engagement ring disputes
One way to avoid lengthy litigation regarding an engagement ring is to have a prenuptial or premarital agreement explaining who’s entitled to the ring if the wedding is cancelled, or if you get married but later divorce. If you do not have a prenuptial or premarital agreement and become involved in a dispute regarding the ownership of the engagement ring, please contact Alan Plevy at abplevy@smolenplevy.com or Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson at kndickerson@smolenplevy.com.
About the Authors
Alan Plevy
Alan Plevy is a recognized force in family law, mediation and litigation, with more than 40 years as one of the most experienced divorce lawyers in Virginia. Mr. Plevy is known for being a tenacious litigator and negotiator who is zealously devoted to his clients. A top legal publication, Virginia Lawyer Weekly, noted Mr. Plevy’s impact on the law when it named two cases he litigated among its Top Five Landmark Family Law Cases in Virginia. Those two cases, which date back to the 1980s, are still regularly cited by attorneys and courts.
Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson
Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson is a principal at SmolenPlevy in Vienna, Virginia. She is a graduate of the University of Virginia and George Mason University School of Law, where she served on the Board of Editors for the Journal of International Legal Studies. Ms. Dickerson is also presently General Counsel for the Asian Pacific American Bar Association of Virginia and has served as President of the organization and on its Board of Directors. She has also served on the Board of Directors of the Virginia Women Attorneys Association and served as its President. She has served on numerous committees of the Fairfax Bar Association and as President of its Young Lawyers Section and as Co-Chair of the Revenue Development Committee.
FAQs
Surman, 742 A. 2d 643 (Pa. 1999), ruled that an engagement ring is a conditional gift given in contemplation of marriage and if the marriage ceremony does not take place, the ring must be returned to the donor. It does not matter that the donor broke the engagement, the reasons why or whose fault it is.
Who legally owns an engagement ring after a breakup? ›
Ownership of the ring is not fully transferred until the wedding ceremony is completed. The common view says that it doesn't matter who did or said what. If the agreement to wed is broken off, ownership of the ring returns to the giver.
Do you give the engagement ring back after a breakup? ›
In most states where engagement rings are considered conditional gifts, the recipient remains the owner of the ring only if the condition of marriage is met. In most cases, the ring goes back to the purchaser if the couple breaks up.
Who should keep the engagement ring if you break up? ›
Who does the engagement ring belong to if the engagement ends? Legally speaking, an engagement ring is deemed an “absolute gift” (s. 3 Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970), and as such, should remain in the possession of the person to whom it was gifted.
Who keeps engagement ring after separation? ›
In these circumstances, the Courts have said that the ring is regarded as a 'conditional gift' given to someone with the expectation that they will get married. Therefore, the engagement ring should be returned to the person giving the ring unless there is a 'legal justification' not to do so.
Do I legally have to give back my engagement ring? ›
The vast majority of states consider engagement rings to be conditional gifts made "in contemplation of marriage." When the implied condition—the marriage—doesn't happen, the person who gave the ring (the donor) has a right to get it back. It doesn't matter how long the marriage lasts.
Can an ex fiancé keep the ring? ›
In the “no-fault" approach, the giver of the ring gets to keep it. This is regardless of who ended the engagement. Most states prefer this rule. Most engagements end by mutual agreement or because of personal issues.
Do you return engagement gifts if you break up? ›
The right answer to the above question is YES. Breaking off an engagement is tough, especially when it comes to what to do with the abundance of engagement gifts you have been showered with by family and friends. Returning the gifts accompanied by a note of thanks is the right thing to do.
Is an engagement ring considered a gift? ›
Most states consider an engagement ring a “conditional gift,” which means it's a gift, but with a condition: getting married. If the marriage doesn't happen, the ring goes back to the person who gave it to the other. If the person who received the ring sold it, they'll owe the sale money to their former spouse-to-be.
Can I sell my engagement ring after break up? ›
If you are wondering 'what to do with an engagement ring after a breakup' or 'is it ok to sell my engagement ring', then the answer is yes. It is okay and it is common practice.
Courts have ruled that engagement rings are conditional gifts, typically made by the husband-to-be to his fiancee. If the parties marry, then “the condition has been met,” and it becomes a “completed gift.” Therefore, the wife gets to keep the engagement ring as it is her non-marital property.
Can I sue to get my engagement ring back? ›
If you file in small claims, you probably will not get your ring back. Unlike a majority of jurisdictions, California treats the person who broke off the engagement as the breaching party, and allows the other party to keep the ring. So if you broke off the engagement, your ex can keep the ring.
What happens to the engagement ring when you break up? ›
Conditional Gift: The Ring Must Be Returned
In many states, an engagement ring is considered a conditional gift. The engagement ring is given to the recipient as a condition of marriage. If the marriage doesn't happen, the ring will need to be returned. This is the case no matter who ended the engagement.
What happens to engagement ring in separation? ›
A common question that arises in family law matters is: What happens to an engagement ring when the relationship falls apart? Courts have long held that upon separation, the parties shall each keep the jewelry, including watches, that they brought into the marriage.
When should I take off my wedding ring after separation? ›
Take it off when you feel ready. Removing the ring may feel like regaining control over yourself or your feelings. Or removing your ex's control over you. Psychologically, it may help you to heal to remove it.
Can my ex sue me for an engagement ring? ›
If the parties still have a dispute or do not have a property agreement, suing to get an engagement ring back may be an option for recovery.
Can a man sue to get an engagement ring back? ›
If you file in small claims, you probably will not get your ring back. Unlike a majority of jurisdictions, California treats the person who broke off the engagement as the breaching party, and allows the other party to keep the ring. So if you broke off the engagement, your ex can keep the ring.
What states do you have to give back an engagement ring? ›
Download Table Data
| State | Ring Must be Returned to Giver |
|---|
| California | If wedding does not occur |
| Colorado | If recipient ends engagement |
| Connecticut | If wedding does not occur |
| Delaware | If engagement is ended by recipient or mutual decision |
46 more rowsShould You Sell Your Engagement Ring? If you are wondering 'what to do with an engagement ring after a breakup' or 'is it ok to sell my engagement ring', then the answer is yes.
