You don't need to spend three months' salary on an engagement ring—here's what to do instead (2024)

One in five people who plan on getting married feel expected to spend between $5,000 and $10,000 on an engagement ring for their future spouse, according to TD Bank's recent Love and Money survey, which polled 1,753 U.S. adults.

Despite these societal pressures, a majority of respondents (59%) say they still only spent between $500 and $2,500 on their partner's ring — a far cry from the three months' salary conventional wisdom often dictates. In fact, the typical American puts down just two weeks' salary, according to the New York Times.

Following that three-month guideline, a person earning $61,937, the current U.S. median household income, would have to spend around $15,500 before taxes on a ring. That's significantly more than the $2,500 maximum a majority of respondents reported actually spending.

Clearly, the three-month rule is no longer the norm. Here's what experts say about where these societal pressures come from and how you can take a smarter approach to saving up for your significant other's engagement ring.

Where do these societal pressures come from?

The unrealistic, and sometimes stress-inducing, expectations about how much you should spend on an engagement ring have many places of origin.

The three-month rule stems from a marketing campaign the De Beers diamond company ran in the 1930s that sold the idea that true love and commitment could only be shown if a man spent a month's salary on his wife's ring. In the 1980s, that expectation grew to two months' salary, and later, three months' worth, wedding website The Knot reports.

You don't need to spend three months' salary on an engagement ring—here's what to do instead (1)

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Here's how much Americans think you should spend on an engagement ring

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Social media also often causes people to compare rings and proposal stories online.

"It's the Instagram and Facebook society. The first thing that someone does when they get engaged is post a picture of the ring," says Ryan Marshall, a certified financial planner at Ela Financial Group.

Knowing the ring will be shown off to friends and family can cause added stress in the buying process, Marshall says. Will it live up to their standards?

It's the Instagram and Facebook society. The first thing that someone does when they get engaged is post a picture of the ring.

Ryan Marshall

certified financial planner at Ela Financial Group

Pop culture and media also play into how society views marriage and engagements. It's common for celebrities and other well-known public figures to drop millions on massive diamond rings as a way of displaying their wealth or financial status. Take Jennifer Lopez, for example. Her ring cost her husband, Alex Rodriguez, an estimated $1.8 million, at least — a fact that was heavily publicized.

That's all in addition to the pressure of choosing a ring that's worthy of your significant other. "For many people, they may start to feel like spending more money is a sign of more love or more affection than if they spent less," says Kaleb Paddock, a certified financial planner at Ten Talents Financial Planning.

Despite these pressures, there is some good news for young people: If you aren't interested in spending thousands in order to propose, you're right on trend. More and more young people aren't buying high-cost engagement rings and a majority think one should cost less than $2,500, according to a 2019 survey from TD Ameritrade.

How to decide how much to spend on a ring

When determining how much to put toward your partner's ring, it's best to "simply ignore any salary metrics" and focus on what you can realistically spend, explains Malik S. Lee, an Atlanta-based certified financial planner at Felton and Peel.

Marshall agrees. He sees "far too many people spending too much on an engagement ring, and then, they have very little money left for their other financial goals, such as home buying."

For a more manageable salary metric, Paddock advises his clients "to spend no more than 5% of your salary on an engagement ring." For those earning $61,937, the U.S. median household income, that's about $3,000.

It might behoove you to keep the price reasonable if you are not looking to cut back on the wedding itself. Far too often people will come out of weddings in debt, but if you plan ahead properly, you may minimize that.

Malik S. Lee

certified financial planner at Felton and Peel

It's can also be smart to figure the cost of an engagement ring into your total wedding costs, Lee says. In 2019, the average U.S. wedding, including the engagement ring, cost $33,900, according to the latest Real Weddings study from The Knot.

"It might behoove you to keep the price reasonable if you are not looking to cut back on the wedding itself," Lee says. "Far too often people will come out of weddings in debt, but if you plan ahead properly, you may minimize that."

How to save smarter for your partner's engagement ring

No matter how much you decide to spend on a ring, it can still be a big purchase. But there are several savings strategies that can make the process easier.

Start by "setting up a separate account that is earmarked for the ring," Marshall says. "Within this account, put any extra money saved or earned."

Saving small amounts consistently over time can go a long way. Say you're paid bi-weekly and decide to deposit $40 per paycheck into your ring fund. That's $80 a month, and after one year, you'll have $960 put away.

If you don't want to manage bi-weekly deposits, you can also "create an automatic direct deposit through your employer," says Lee. "Using this strategy can help safeguard any savings goals from things like impulse buying, procrastination and inconsistency," he adds.

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Additionally, look for ways to tighten your budget and limit unnecessary spending. Packing your lunch, cooking dinner at home and taking public transportation (rather than car services), can help you spend less and put more toward your ring fund.

But, remember, if you can't reasonably afford the ring you want, you shouldn't push the price you're willing to pay too far.

Avoid turning to short-term solutions, such as using a credit card or digging into your retirement savings, to cover ring costs. You should always think about what will be best for both you and your partner financially before taking on any high-interest debt.

And if you can't afford your partner's "dream ring" right now, Lee says you shouldn't be discouraged. "As a married man myself, someone wise once told me not to go too big because if you are married long enough, there is a great chance that you will be upgrading their ring or buying a new one anyway at some point," Lee says. "After 13 years of marriage, needless to say, they were right."

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You don't need to spend three months' salary on an engagement ring—here's what to do instead (2024)

FAQs

Should a man spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring? ›

The Origin of 3 Months Salary Rule

Most recently, the De Beers' magical amount has gone up to three month's salary. Everyone's preferences and dream rings are different, this isn't a one-size-fits-all guideline to how much you should spend on your engagement ring.

What is the 2 month rule for engagement rings? ›

You may have heard of the "two-month rule," which suggests you should spend two months' worth of your income on an engagement ring. While this may be what you have heard, the reality is that there is no set rule on how much money you should spend on an engagement ring!

How many months of income should you spend on an engagement ring? ›

You Should Spend Three Month's Worth of Your Salary on a Ring. "There is a long-standing cultural tradition of spending two to three months' salary on an engagement ring.

How much should I spend on an engagement ring if I make $100,000 a year? ›

The Correct Answer to How Much to Spend
Salary (US Dollars)Minimum To Spend (US Dollars)Maximum You Should Spend (US Dollars)
$75,000$550$9,200
$100,000$550$12,500
$125,000$550$14,400
$150,000$550$20,500
7 more rows

Is $3000 a lot for an engagement ring? ›

Is $3,000 Enough for An Engagement Ring? Yes, $3,000 is definitely enough for an engagement ring. You can get a beautiful, high-quality diamond and a setting with this budget.

Is $20,000 too much for engagement ring? ›

According to tradition, the amount you choose to spend on an engagement ring should approximate the amount of your monthly salary times two. By this measure, anyone who earns $2,000 a month should be looking at models in the $4,000 range. For someone earning $10,000 a month, a $20,000 ring would be about right.

Do you give the ring back if you break an engagement? ›

In most states where engagement rings are considered conditional gifts, the recipient remains the owner of the ring only if the condition of marriage is met. In most cases, the ring goes back to the purchaser if the couple breaks up.

What is the 3 month rule? ›

The 3-month rule can be thought of as a rule, test, or even "probationary period" for dating that suggests waiting three months before deciding whether to commit to a person. And given all we know about the initial stages of dating, it's pretty solid advice.

Do I have to get 2 rings when proposing? ›

Wearing both rings or only one ring is a personal choice. Tradition used to dictate this, but nowadays, if you like the traditional look, then you should go that route. If that doesn't feel like your style, then there is no harm.

Is $30,000 a lot for an engagement ring? ›

Diamond cut, weight, and quality are the biggest factors in an engagement ring's final cost. With a $30000 budget, you can easily find a ring with an impressive diamond of high color and clarity grades. However, the wide range of options available for this price may be overwhelming.

Is $10,000 enough for an engagement ring? ›

A $10,000 engagement ring typically signals a premium tier in jewelry selection. In the market, this amount can afford you high-quality diamonds, often around the 1-carat mark, set in platinum or gold bands with intricate designs.

What is a realistic amount to spend on an engagement ring? ›

While engagement rings are a pricy investment, the usual cost tends to be below $10,000, with a national average of $6,000, according to The Knot's 2022 Jewelry and Engagement Study.

Do people really spend 3 months salary on engagement rings? ›

Earlier, people spent their three-month salary on engagement rings as it was a popular notion. The cost of living back in the day was indeed much lower, and people could afford to spend 3 months' salary on a ring. However, times have changed and millennial couples don't generally follow this rule.

Is $5000 a lot for an engagement ring? ›

According to a 2022 study from Credit Donkey, most couples reported wanting to spend between $1,000 and $5,000, though the average cost of an engagement ring was around $5,225.

Is $7,000 too much for an engagement ring? ›

In summary, the average cost of an engagement ring in 2024 hovered around $5,000 to $7,000 USD, but it's not set in stone. Set a budget that works for you, and don't be afraid to think outside the box when it comes to choosing the perfect ring.

How much salary should a man spend on an engagement ring? ›

It's known as the "three months' salary" rule, and it implies that a buyer should put three months of their salary toward a sparkler for their future spouse. For context, The Knot's 2023 Jewelry and Engagement study found that the average cost of an engagement ring in the US is $5,500.

How much should a man buy an engagement ring for? ›

1. The Traditional Spend for an Engagement Ring. You've probably heard the phrase 'three month's salary' bandied about quite a lot, and yes, you can use this as a guideline for how much you should spend on an engagement ring.

Is 3 months salary engagement ring before or after taxes? ›

1) The Three Months Gross Salary Rule

There's really no rhyme or reason why a man should spend three months of his gross salary on an engagement ring, let alone two months. After taxes, three months gross is equivalent to about 1/3rd his take home pay.

How long after a man buys an engagement ring does he propose? ›

The best time to buy an engagement ring is at least six weeks before the proposal, but generally, three months prior is a better timeline.

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