1. Choose a host.
Traditionally, the bride's parents throw an engagement party, but there's no reason you can't host (and finance) one yourself if you prefer. If your parents live in two different cities, you might opt for two parties, so both sets of parents can celebrate with close family friends. If someone other than yourself is hosting, be clear about how involved you would like to be in the party planning.
2. Pick a date.
You're celebrating your engagement, so try to pick a date that's not too long after the fact…two to three months is ideal, enough time to plan and not enough time for the proposal glow to fade. You'll want a date that definitely works for parents, as well as grandparents and siblings if possible.
3. Make a guest list.
Engagement parties are typically small, convivial affairs where both sides of the family and close friends can to get to know each other in a relaxed environment. Invite only people you plan to invite to the wedding as well.
4. Decide on a gift game plan.
People will usually bring gifts to an engagement party, so if you don't want them to, make sure to specify "No gifts please" on the invite. If gifts are welcome, register for small-to medium-sized ones…and make sure to keep track of who gives you what so you can send thank-you cards.
5. Select a venue.
The venue you choose should depend on the size and vibe of the party you'd like to have…and the budget you're working with. The good news is anything goes, from a private room or banquet table at a restaurant to a backyard bash or intimate dinner party at home.
6. Set the scene.
Pick a theme (anything from tropical fiesta to garden party to starry night) or color palette if you want a cohesive look, or think about celebratory decorations or floral centerpieces.
7. Send invitations.
Mail or email invites three weeks to a month before the event if you can. If you decided to go with a theme, it's fun for the invitations to tie in, but a photo of the happy couple embedded into an email invite works just as well!
8. Plan a menu.
What's a party without eats and drinks? At a restaurant, you might have a set menu with a couple of options for each course, or at home, a mini buffet or an afternoon tea party spread. Set aside time to shop for ingredients and cook if you're not having the event catered. Have something sparkling on hand for impromptu toasts!
9. Think about a soundtrack.
Music isn't a must, but it's worthwhile thinking about, especially if you're having a party at home. Whether you go for a playlist, Pandora, old-school CD mixes, or nothing at all, make sure you've got the right speaker/electrical outlet setup for your venue.
10. Plan an activity.
Ice breakers aren't a must either, but if "get to know you" is part of the purpose, a little game or two, like a scavenger hunt or bride and groom trivia, can be fun, particularly if the group is smallish and teams can bring together family members from opposite sides.
11. Line up some help.
While some people will ask if there's anything they can do to help as they arrive, make sure to have specific helpers if you think you'll need them. Consider hiring a photography student to take pics so none of your guests have to.
12. Prep the venue.
Clean up your house, set up any extra tables and chairs, and decorate. If the party's not going to be at someone's home, make sure the restaurant or venue has an updated headcount and a place to stash gifts.
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FAQs
In modern times, an engagement party may celebrate a previously publicized engagement. It is a party like any other, except that usually toasts or speeches are made to announce the upcoming wedding. While it varies, an engagement party takes place at the beginning of the process of planning a wedding.
How soon after getting engaged should you have an engagement party? ›
Generally, engagement parties are held 3 to 6 months after the happy couple gets engaged. They're a fantastic idea if you're looking to have a small, intimate wedding – allowing you to celebrate with the people who are unlikely to get an invitation to your big day.
How to host a great engagement party? ›
Follow these simple steps to make hosting your engagement party a cinch.
- Choose Your Style. Consider your personalities and preferences. ...
- Choose the Perfect Location. ...
- Define the Invite List. ...
- Determine the Style of the Event. ...
- Craft Creative Decor. ...
- Choose Delicious Food & Beverage. ...
- Engaging Entertainment. ...
- Toast to Love.
Whoever hosts the engagement party is usually responsible for covering the costs. Historically, it's been the bride's parents. However, as celebrations for engagements have evolved, Mae notes that she often sees both parents paying a portion of the total bill. Some couples even chip in.
How much should an engagement party cost? ›
"The cost for these varies in region, but in general, you will expect to spend anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000 plus." It's also worth pointing out that some venues will have a booking fee in addition to a minimum that you need to spend on food and beverage.
How many hours should an engagement party be? ›
In terms of the length of the engagement party, couples typically choose a two to four-hour window. If you do not plan to serve a full meal, it's best to choose a time frame in between typical mealtimes, such as 2-5 p.m.
Who gives speeches at engagement parties? ›
Typically, the parents of the couple or perhaps even other family members - such as siblings - may give speeches. And since it's your event, you might like to say a few words, expressing your gratitude and excitement.
Who usually plans the engagement party? ›
Traditionally, the engagement party is hosted by the bride's parents, but friends of the bride and groom and other relatives may want to organize the gathering as well. The couple may opt to have two or more parties: one for relatives and family friends, for instance, and another for their own friends.
Do you give a gift at an engagement party? ›
Guests are not required to bring gifts to an engagement party, but it is a nice gesture to bring a gift when attending this type of celebration. There are no formal guidelines that dictate how much a guest should spend on an engagement party gift. The amount solely depends on an individual's budget.
Do you have a cake at an engagement party? ›
Do make or purchase small desserts: Dessert is an important element to an engagement party, but an engagement cake is not. I prefer to create an impactful dessert buffet by making (or buying) smaller cakes of different flavors. Another idea is to have cupcakes, fresh cut fruit and some cookies.
There's no set engagement party etiquette on this, but here is our advice: Keep it small- to medium-sized. You don't need to include everyone who will be on your wedding guest list. Keep the party intimate and special by inviting your closest friends and family members to raise a glass to your impending nuptials.
What do I say at my engagement party? ›
Speak to their relationship and the love they share, tell everyone a short story about how they met, and toast with all the enthusiasm and warmth to the wonderful future they have ahead of them.” End your toast with a nod of positivity and all the beautiful moments to come.
How many people are usually at an engagement party? ›
Everyone at the engagement party should be invited to the wedding, but not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the engagement party. Typically, engagement parties are more intimate than weddings, with a range of 10 to 75 people.
Do you bring anything to an engagement party? ›
Guests are not required to bring gifts to an engagement party, but it is a nice gesture to bring a gift when attending this type of celebration. There are no formal guidelines that dictate how much a guest should spend on an engagement party gift. The amount solely depends on an individual's budget.
What is the customary gift for an engagement party? ›
Traditional engagement party gifts often include items that the couple can use in their home, such as kitchenware, linens, or decorative items. Cultural or family traditions may also influence the choice of gifts, so it's essential to be aware of any specific expectations.
How many guests are needed for an engagement party? ›
Everyone at the engagement party should be invited to the wedding, but not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the engagement party. Typically, engagement parties are more intimate than weddings, with a range of 10 to 75 people.
